Mama need not have to come for the Parents-Teachers-Conference to the the report card before the september holidays. whY? because i didn't fail three or mo subjects. see. i've improve. and mama so be proud of me. haa.

unity idol finale was just now during assembly. yea. that girl sings like so NICE. aha. fang liang much more better. SERIOUS. haa. so yeah. too bad for fang liang. cause he came in second. but hey. at least he got something. not like ME. haa.

tomorrow is ACES day cum celebrating teachers day too. and yay. thursday is a school holiday. i love. gonna study and catch up on my history work. aha. dont ask me out anyone. cause during the september holidays, im gonna go for the silver wing thingy. DAMN. oic summore. but im save. cause jie xi is also going. haa. can help me do the admin stuff. so yeah. HELP ME OKAY, JIE XI? =P

tomorrow also meeting sofiah to lend her some stuff for her mt. ophir expedition. haa. CAN I FOLLOW SOFIAH?? lol. damn. i miss ophir. haa. remember that time me and jie xi quarrelled with meng koon cause we didn't wait for shahida and her to go down that KFC THING. why we didn't wait? cause they were slow. and we were so fast. how can we stop when we are happily climbiing down that KFC thingg? plus, its steeping down. so, cannot stop anyhow. later i TEGOLEK from that thing and MAMPOS, i dont want. cause i still love JIE XI and lalala. haha. dumb. STUPID.

now i know that i cant post what i feel and probs towards nc here. you know. will create spams in tagboard and some i -dont-know fucking chee baiii's will tag at my board saying SHIT word. yarh. they all just suck.

SOMEONE MORE SUCK.
THAT FUCKING IDIOTIC FUCKER.

jie xi,
SORRY. yarh. i know. im the one causing this. promise. will not cause it again. =/
and yarh.
I STILL HATE THAT MOLE!!
ps: please dont tell him.
lalalalala =P


**people. please dont ask me ANYTHING about this in msn. i aint telling ANYONE about how i feel toward this or whatsoever. so yarh. just dont ask. cause im sick and tired of you people asking "WHATS WRONG? WHATS WRONG?"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OKAY!

MR FAN REALLY SUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!

urgh.
okay. im sorry. dont you know that i also have a fucking attitude? i know you do. so? if like that happens, might as well i quit nc, right? its that fucker mr fan attitude who makes me to quit nc. i know you people cant feel the same way. NO ONE. it feels like a jug full of acid water that's just poured over my whole body. his words. its like shoooooooooooooooooooooting through this fucking body very deeeep.

i know. im the cause of this and everything. but yea. im sorry. it doesnt really matter whether you care or not. ITS FINE WITH ME. REALLY. because the ans is always from you.

yarh. CALL ME A SHIT BAG FROM NOW ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.
im sorry.

JIE XI.
JUST SAY I SUCK INFRONT OF ME OKAYYY!
I KNOW I SUCK.
DONT WHEN I ASK YOU ABT THIS, YOU SAID NO.
JUST SAY THAT I FUCKINGLY SUCKK.
IM FUCKINGLY STUPID.
FINE.
FROM THE NEXT NC TRAINING, I'LL JUST GO MY OWN WAY, AND YOU GO YOUR OWN WAY.
JUST SAY INFRONT MY FACE THAT I FUCKING SUCK ALOTT.

you thing you the only one who feel about all this tuff is it? you dont think that i feel the same towards this? i know you dont feel the feelings that i had after spec crs. the CLTs, the COs were all fuckingly chee bai. its reall fuckingly ANGRY to see their facess. like what you said "try putting us into your shoe". but can you try putting yourself in my shoe? im surely you cant feel the feelings tt i have. and yarh. everytime, that fuckingly chee bai mr fan say this and tt. im sure you know what he said. its like he really look down on us. I KNOW YOU CANT FEEL THE FEELINGS. I KNOW YOU CANT.

OKAY.
im not gonna talk about this FUCKING NC THING AGAIN.
it makes my fucking eyes full of my fucking tears.
I SWEAR THAT AFTER I STEP DOWN FROM NC NEXT YR, I'LL NOT BE COMING DOWN FOR ANY NC AGAIN.
JUSSSSTT SAYYYYYYYYYY I SUCCCCCCKKKKKK.
OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

im sorry about everything. i just dont want loose our friendship we build for almost three years now just about thing fucking matters.

ii fuckingly need to talk to someone now.
SYIQA! =(

went out to watch The Maid with that sucker(jie xi) after school today. haa. rush to causeway point to watch the 2.10pm show. haha. and yarh. mama was there too. with her friend, of course. the movie was kinda okay larh. SCARY? i should say. haaa. but most of the scary2 part, i was closingg my eyes with my freaking itsy-bitsy finger plus the whole of my palm to prevent from seeing the ghost. hahaha! the ghost were like WOW. DAM CHIO BU. i think if imma guy, i'll CHIO her like fuck man. haha! sick.

went to eat pizza hut after that. whY? because mama force us to eat. yea. jie xi was soo happy cause mam did treat us. hey. im happy too okay. she like gave me more than 20 bucks just to spent on the movie and stuffs. wOw! i LOVE<3. haaa. ate the dont-know-what cheesy pizza set. mama and her friend force us to eat TWO pizzas and some onion and calamari rings. were BLOODY FULL like fuck man. she even force us to finish up almost a quater left of the coke inside the pitcher. DARN. haaha.

rush to the toilet after that. haha. and did something with that suckerr inside. hahahahahaha!

walk around and saw this bloody idiot, MIRZA. that suckerr. he look like a MAO now siaa. HAIRY MONSTERRR! ahahahaha. okay. i hope he's not reading this. lol. if youre reading, sorry. if you come to help for the silver wing phase two, dont smack me, cause just now you alr smack me with your FUCKINGLY NOT NICE folio. please larh. your graff is so so not nice okay. just admit it, DUMB.

bla bla. school was okay just now. will be getting back my bio and physics test paper. lets just pray i'll pass both paper. and yarh. I PASS MY ENGLISH TESTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IM SO HAPPY. YAY-ness. haaaa!

okay. i want to study.
so lonng,
suckkers(:

physics test was kinda okay. but yeah. bio. SHIT. i have no hopes for passing my bio test this time round. shitt larh. regret taking bio. indeed, bio is funn. but there's lotsa stuffs to remember. like how the phagocytes engulf the bacteria and how photosynthesis works. die larh.

tomorrow having inter-class volleyball match. WTF? i dont even know how to play VOLLEYBALL?!and the fcuking mdm li expext me to join this? KNN. hate herr. alot. at least, mr toh is sooooo much BETTER. yeps. hahaha! YAY-ness. wednesday gonna watch The Maid with that suckker(jie xi). haha. gonna have REAL FUN together. yay yay(:

there's this girl from my school keep following MY KINDA so called style? WTF? darn piss with you since dont know when? and yarh. PLEASE edit your friendster profile because the WORDS under ABT ME is exactly the same as mine. and yarh. the picccs too. dont ever STEAL the pics that i've uploaded at friendster. FCUK YOU. KNN. CHEE BAI. better do something. before i'll be a REAL, MAD, INSANNEE monster. BITCH!

oh great. im missing him so much nowadays. really dont know why? SHIT. and yarh. if youre reading this, better be. i want you bacck. i know im the one who cause the troubles and stuffs. but i still need you. i miss you. alooot. dont you ever think of that?

the words that appear from my mouth is still fresh in my head. im sorry. forgive me larh. i dont know how to tell you this when we're on the phone the last two nights. the words that i wanna say seems to be stuck inside my throat and its like something is blocking it. ouhh great.

i still love you. haha. likha is sucha fool to believe her own words when she's angry. -slaps myself.

im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. imsorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. m sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry.

lets start. firstly, i want to thank my WIFE also known as NURUL. why? cause she help me adit my picc. there. on the left side of my lay. i'm so so in love with it. THANKS DARLING(: i owe you ice-cream. haaa. promise. okay.

went out with momma just now to Causeway Point. ate at delifrance. yups. im so soooo FULL now. and i feel like vomitting. haha. i feel restless. LOLX. dammit. i should not have eaten that pasta just now. should have instead eaten a set of sandwich meal. sheesh. nevermind. but at least, i have funn going out with her. haha.

and yarh. besides that, there's this guy inside delifrance, working as an waiter. haha. he was appraching us to serve our food when aleh-aleh, he said "assalamualaikum." and we were like okay. haha. after that, BURST OUT INTO LAUGHTER. ahahhaa. bad right? lol.

went to walk around after that. she bought a pair of shoe. but i didnt bought anything. was in LOVE with this pair of so called "shoe" i think. but didnt have the courage to ask momma to buy it for me. haaa. sometimes, im stupid. haha. why didnt i just tell her that i wanted that so called "shoe"? ahaha. she was like all along asking me what i want to buy. but i have no courage to tell her i want THAT. ahahaha! suckk man =/

ok. this is for jie xi.
to the recent post that you have read, im sorry. i just cant keep the feelings in me. i just want you to know that you guys are really looking down on some of the nc cadets. urgh! cant stand it, you know. even for the last training, during the meeting, i cried. the words from mr fan's FUCKING mouth is so FUCKINGLY hurting some of us. i know you cant feel the feelings but try to understand, okay. SHIT. sometimes i reflect on myself. why must i join this fucking cca when all of the people are looking down on US? fuck siaa. im pissed with the people around me. esp nc cadets. KNN. please go tell that fucking co to fuck his own mouth. KNN.

for the CLTs too. i hope you are reading this. why are you people so bias toward me? during the interview, you said that you guys always find fault in me every training. LIKE WHAT FUCKERS???!!! i dont care what you FUCKING CLTs said about keeping this interview cnvrsation a secret. KNN. you people simply suck. look at jie xi. she always wears a ear stick. her fringe always drop down. look at her coloured hairband. why didnt you FUCKING CLTs catch her? why you FUCKING CLTs always catch me? BIAS right FUCKERS?!!! i forget to bring up about this point during the interview. why? because i hate to see all yoour FUCKING faces. really look like FUCKERS. you FUCKING CLTs ask me whether is there any family or relationship problems. WHY MUST YOU FUCKING CLTs HAVE TO CARE ABOUT. YOU GUYS ARE ONLY INCHRGE OF NC RIGHT FUCKERSS!

BODOH NAK MAMPUS. KECIK2 TANAK MAMPOS. DA BESAR JADIK MAK BEDAH MANER ENTA. SAJAK LARH NAME KAU TU. NAME ORG2 TUE. FUCK YOU LARHH.

MIND YOUR OWN BUSINNESS. you people think i want to tell you about all this personnal problems is it? WAIT TILL YOU FUCK YOU FATHER THAN I TELL LARH. KNN. YOU GUYS ARE REALLY MOTHAFUCKER FREAK. FUCKERS.


okay. im done.

i pass my math. THANK GOD. weeee(: im happy; im happy; im happy. YAY-ness. two more test to go. must pass my physics and biology test. its a MUST to pass. haaa=) yay yayy!

went to ITE ang mo kio for the two days attachment. BORING. FUCKINGLY boring. i mean it. i swear that im not gonna ENTER ite. no no. i promise myself to join the Junior College. i know myself very much. once i want that thing, die die i must get. haaa(:

tomorrow still need to go the ite thingy again. dammit. =/

i miss him.
i love him.
i want him back.
i miss his smiles.
i miss his laughter.
i miss his LAME jokes.
im into him.
im fuckingly crazy about him.
BUT i know i cant be with him):
goodbye.

i pass; i pass; i pass! i PASS my DnT test. YAY-ness. scored 91 out of 100. YAY YAY! second in class. YAY-ness. jumps around in class after i get to know i get 2nd in class for my DnT test. haa! yay yayy. I LOVE<3! i've shown improvement. LOTSA improvement. YAY-ness!


had nc meeting after school just now. only for SOME people. stupid MR FAN. never tell us. suckerrr! (: hate him aloooot. dont know why. maybe i was born to HATE him. haaaa! yarh. i know. im bad. like what jie xi said =/


okay. physics and bio test coming. hate science. REALLY. especially physics. why? because of the teacher. haha. but i LOVE the subject(: haha.


yay. yay. i PASS my DnT test. i LOVE; i LOVE; i LOVE!!
lets pray so i pass my math test too(:
byee<3!

i LOVE; i LOVE; i LOVE going out with jie xi. so fun. fun. fun!. haa. LOVE going out with that sucker alooot. only sucker will keep dropping her poster on the floor and only idiots will throw her poster up the sky. haha. you know i know, right jie xi?! lol.

OMG! OMG! OMG! there's this CRAZY guy from scdf wanted something from me. guess what? haa. the conversation goes like this.

"hello. why not while waiting for the people to finish seeing the vehicle, i'll explain to you about this motocycle."

"okay"

"both of you from which poly?"

"no larh. secondary." jie xi replied.

"ok. 16? 17?"

"-smile- 15." hahahahahahah! do we look like 16,17,18? DUMB SIAL.

"okay. basically this bike is for emergencies like..." bla blaaa.

we were like all along saying ok and nodding our heads. WHY? because not interested in civil defence stuff nor the vehicle. haaa!

"you two doesnt look interested right?"

we just nod head. PLUS, giggling. haha.

"both of you lesbians izzit?"

-shake head + giggling-

"best friends?"

-nodd head + smiling-

"so, you dont mind right if i ask you for your number?" -talking to me.

i just shake my head.

"why? got boyfriened already is it?"

"errr.. yarhh." hahahahha

"okay."

we walk away and say thank you. hahahah! i lied to him that i have bf. haha. LIKHA IS A LIAR!! haha. so? dont tell me i want to give my number to him?! what the FCUK sia. YUCKS. i'll kick his LJ then he know. haha! OMFG! OMFG! OMFG! the main point here is, scdf guys are desperados. maybe only SOME? but some are CUTE. except for the eyes. like "k-roh" like that. haaaaa!

okay. enough of that point. haha! we were like crazy charbo over there. keep taking pictures. saw LOCH-NESS monster walking around. haha. we even go to the ncc booth to play the archery. haha. its like we played 6 or 7 times? thanks to sir thomas who let us play. haha. the SIRs there like sick and tired of seeing our faces. hahaa!

okay. the pictures are uploaded. click here.

im tired of typing. want to sleep. haaa. byeee(:

don't feel like updating today. why? because i don't feel like too. ncc training today was TERRIBLE. i mean TERRIBLE, for me. im sure for all the part Cs too. don't ever ask why.

tomorrow gonna go the Marina Carnival with jie xi. I LOVE<3!

yay. ndp is a success. guess what? ncc darn rawks my socks mann. haaa! we simply rawks. haha. while singing, han suggested to go infront or the whole, join the choir. and we really did it. and yarh. its NCC who suggessted it. SAY HELLO TO NCC. hahahehehoho. we sang, we shout, we jump around like no one bussiness. haaa! okayy. stop it sucker. lolol(:

clap for me and jie xi cause we manage to escape from the ncc meeting. set by that SUCKER mr fan. FAN? haha. funny name. lol(:

went to change my clothes after that. take mrt with jie xi but dont know go where. wanted to watch the maid, but haven start yett. wanna watch marebito, but dont know where. indeed, we ended up at city hall, suctec city. dont know for what.

after walk here walk there, go eat at pizza hut. and yarh. we spent $15 EACH on that. SO CHEAP RIGHT?! its all because of LEE JIE XI. WHYYY???!! because i told her to go causeway point but she dont want. and yarh. WE nearly quarrelled with each other. but in the end, we laugh at each other. hahahhaha. thats how we hold our friendship so tight tight. TILL DEATH DO US APART(:

okay. while standing in the mrt, i plan on something. my future planss. haa! lets seeee.
end of sec 3 get MUST get my 2nd sgt rank.
early/mid sec 4, MUST get my 1st sgt rank.
step down after that.
i know i cannot make it to senior spec.
take N level.
MUST go take O level.
sec 5, maybe come back to ncc again, IF only i still love ncc.
take O level, and im aiming to go to Junior College.
yeps(:
maybe after O level, go for clt course?
if only im choosen. cause unity ncc co and the clt all sucks.
HATE THEIR FACESSS!
FAGGOTTT!
haaaaa!!


yayy. tomorrow gonna go shopping with my mamaaa! i LOVE! i LOVE! can ask her to buy anything for meeeee. yayy. i LOVE<3!

i've beganning to hate some of the people in ncc. WHY? they all suck. they only think for their own bla bla. some of them, hate someone because of her post. SHE is blinded by her hatred because SOMEONE gets that post as a USM. just because if that, everyone change. there's conflicts everywhere. why must there conflicts between the usm and the sgts? even if she doesn't fit to be the USM, you definitely DONT fit to become one right? so, there's no need for you to walk around, telling other schools that she doesn't fit.

you're too arrogant. you keep telling everyone tthat you are much more better than her. indeed, i agree that you simply LOVE to flirt with other school guys. you look down on people that is lower than you and stuff. you have the MOST badges, the only girl to become the 100m range marksman and stuff. so what? think about other people feelings, can you? everthing in the commitee you wanna be. everything you want. you are so so so selfish. DO YOU THINK YOURE SO GOOD?

i hope you change before anything happens. even if she's the usm for our unit now, we cannot do anything. cause she was choosen by the CO. you cant keep telling people people that she doesn't fit to become one till we step down from ncc next year, right? you're not the best among the part Cs. you're not the best among the girls in part C.

i cannot keep this feeling in me no more. i hope you just change and be someone else, on the other side of you. plus, if you still keep this behaviour and attitude in you, lets just kiss goodbye to the Gold Unit for Unity Air next year.

okay. i'll continue on what i post on my tagboard. lets just go straight to the point. NURUL, its not that im angry at you nor im sick and tired of you. but im sick and tired of all the fcuking misunderstanding between you and me with syiqa. you said that we are blaming on you. but about what? did i ever said that im blaming on you? did i? or did syiqa? please larhh.

you said that syiqa is the one who is taking me away from you. what the fcuk? think about it lar. doesnt mean that i talk to her on the phone almost every night and sharing my probs with her means she's stealing me away from you? the reason i did that is because im sharing my probs with her between US. since i knew syiqa, youve chnge. you said that she this lar. that lar. im always wondering. what the hell had happen to you.

dont tell me this prob i can share with you. hell no right. you will surely say "no larhh. where got". fcuk all this nonsense man. im sick and tired of all this fcuking nonsense itsy-bitsy fights among us that is accuring almost monthly? urgh!

please stop all this crap larh. im not siding any of you. everyone make mistakes. please change. and stop saying that we dont need you or we're blaming on you blah blaa. why must this happen just to hold our friendship as tight as possible??

are your entries about ME and HER? if it is, and if you reading this, PLEASE take this very seriously. we once fought about a small matter the last time. then, it happen few weeks ago. and now. it beginning to happen again. i really dont want this stupid stuff to happen again. why must we fought between us? why must you keep secrets between me and you? i know everything. you told her that you have a new GUY friend. she's in the same school as you. indeed the same class, right?

why cant you just tell me? why must i ask her than i can know the story? why cant you just tell me evrything? even though sometimes i tell her my stories first, but i still tell you right altho i dinch tell you the first person. so, i guess, you dont need me anymore right? or rather you dont need US anymore?

you once told her that she's the cause of OUR friendship because she's taking ME away from you. i used to share my probs with you. but now, not anymore. why? im not siding anyone here. i just dont want this to happen to us anymore. i want our friendship to be tight filled with love, patient and understanding. not filled with LIES.

my eyes are now filled with tears. urgh! cant we just have a peaceful, nice, lovely friendship between us?? please. okay? please take this very seriously. i MEAN it. i dont want to lose you. i just cant bear to lose someone like you. youre like part of my life that i share my probs with.

i heartt you<3!
you promised that you wont leave me again.
not anymore right?
please keep your promises.
cause i cant bear to lose someone like you.